


SORRY FOR TRYING TO KILL YOU :C

by Schediaphilia



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Cunnilingus, Dessert & Sweets, Food Kink, Masturbation, Other, POV Second Person, Robot Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:50:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schediaphilia/pseuds/Schediaphilia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a beautiful morning. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, there's an eccentric robot at your door... </p><p>AU where Frisk fell into the Underground as an adult, takes place five years after the pacifist ending. The reader is Frisk. Reader is gender neutral.</p>
            </blockquote>





	SORRY FOR TRYING TO KILL YOU :C

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of a mess because I rushed through it while in a brain fog (I'm chronically ill) so I think I might revisit it and edit. Thinking of changed the tense to present tense as the passive voice certainly doesn't lend well to second person. Expect a V2 at some point, I'll either replace this entirely or make it the second chapter. More likely though is replacing it mostly due to the grievous amounts of typos and parsing errors.

“Knock knock! Oh, darling, I know you’re home~!”

You jumped at the inorganic voice coming from your front door. It had been quite a while since you’d seen the robot, well in person at least. After leaving the Underground he became quite famous in niche markets, starting with monster oriented cable and eventually becoming big even among humans.

Which made it even odder. Why would he, of all people, be bothering with you?

“Are you really going to make wait on my birthday?”

You blinked and struggled to piece it together. Okay, fine, you’d figure out what Mettaton wanted. Making up your mind you unlocked the door and swung it open a bit too quickly. You froze at the image of Mettaton in his EX model standing at your doorway with a large box in his hands.

“Uhm,” is all you managed to say when he pushed his way past you. Your eyes caught onto his hair, up in a bun with a large bow pushing back his hair.

He looked… different. Different from when you’d seen this form last, at the very least. You’d noticed it subconsciously when you channel surfed but never really took notice of it. His waist seemed much tighter, as if cinched despite the impossibility. His arms were metallic but gave way to oddly human-like hands, with artificial nails on the his fingers. You remembered vaguely he tended to change his nails from show to show- also known as on the daily- from an interview awhile back. This time his nails were pink with small heart shaped holes cut out on the ends.

He pushed things around on your table, muttering about the clutter, and placed the box down gingerly. It had a big red bow on top with a large tag that you could read from across the room. “LOVE METTATON” was scrawled on with impressive penmanship if you being honest.

“Why are-” you began only to be cut off.

“Oh dear, it’s been far too long, don’t you think?” He turned to you and gripped your hands lightly, smiling as he swung your arms lightly with him. He was way too energetic for this early in the morning. But you supposed robots didn’t need caffeine.

“I mean, yeah it has-”

“I was just thinking a few weeks ago, ‘Why that lovely human, I wonder where they are now?’ and then I got thinking about how awful I treated you and… well long story short I made you a cake!”

You blinked.

“But, isn’t it your-”

“It is my birthday of course, but, uhm…” he stopped swinging his arms and instead seemed to be focused on a section of the wall.

“Look, I’m going to be frank,” he dropped your hands and pulled one of his own up to his face, rubbing it in exaggerated distress.

“I’m rather.. frazzled by my personnel lately. I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to... “ He expelled air from his face, hair blowing gently. You tried not to look, you figured that was rude.

“And I got thinking that I never really got to apologize,” he huffed out, lips unmoving. You wondered idly where his voice was coming from.

You tilted your head.

“If you’re lonely you could’ve just called,” you offered.

“Oh, I don’t do phone calls anymore, too many people with wiretaps these days desperate to catch you when you’ve let your guard down,” he explained while rolling his eyes.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you replied earnestly.

His eyes dilated briefly before he spoke, “Oh, not that I think you would do something like that! I just got rid of mine awhile ago. I trust you, dear.”

“Why? You haven’t seen me in, like, half a decade,” you stated more than asked.

“Well, you were so kind back then. I can’t imagine you’d do something like that,” he explained, seemingly utterly convinced.

“Well, I mean, I probably wouldn’t,” you admitted.

He smiled at that with a grin that said, “See? I was right!”

“Now, anyway, back to the cake!” He bounded back over to the table and pulled out a chair for you.

“Uhm… no, I really don’t ne-”

His smile fell, “I spent six hours making this,” was all he said. Your urped and carefully sat down.

When you woke up this morning you didn’t imagine a superstar celebrity would be bending over your dinner table- wait- not like that! You chided your mind as you pointed your gaze as far away from that as possible.

“Tadaaaaaaa!!”

You turned your gaze back only to find a particularly over expressive Mettaton throwing his hands up while posing. In front of him was a… well it was a cake all right. It had pink frosting and it looked as if he had tried to do piping but didn’t quite have steady enough a hand. On the top it said in large red letters, “IM SORRY FOR TRYING TO KILL YOU.”

“Oh, wow,” was all you could manage.  

“I know, you’re utterly speechless by how much love and affection I put into this delicacy! You don’t need to say it, I can tell!”

“Uhm-”

He was cutting the cake now using one of your kitchen knives.

“Where do you keep your plates, dear?”

You considered slipping out of your studio apartment while he was preoccupied but decided you were in too deep. You wordlessly pointed to the long cabinet to the left of your sink. You heard tinkling of glass and silver as he brought a plate and fork over to the table, serving you a far too large slice.

You looked down at the slice.

“KILL” stared up at you in red letters.

You looked up at Mettaton who was beaming.

“Oh, do you not want to eat it?” he frowned for a moment.

“But… I spent so much time on this, how could you be so cruel as to not even try it?!” he looked as if he were about to cry.

“Unless…”

“You want me to feed it to you! Of course, how could miss it! Human, you’re so utterly delightful!”

You tried to quell the urge to sigh. You tried not to appear to wide-eyed. You wondered if he could smell fear.

He carefully presented a small piece on the fork to you, a hand underneath it to catch an crumbs. Well, it’s very rare that cakes ill you, you reasoned. You opened your mouth. You heard a strange whirring noise emitting from your impromptu guest and you closed down on the fork, sugar assaulting your tastebuds full force. It was so sugary it hurt. Other than that it was a normal cake. It seems to be angel food cake with frosting- which would explain the overwhelming sweetness. For someone who ran a cooking show it seemed he didn’t know too much about baking sweets.

You chewed swallowed it and noticed the look Mettaton was boring into you. You paused for a moment, making a low, “Mmmm” noise. This seemed to be the right action. You heard mechanical noises emit from the rather excitable robot as he seemed utterly thrilled. You looked down at the square of cake and back up at his face.

He expected you to eat that giant slice, didn’t he?

You resigned yourself to your cakey-sugary demise and wearily opened your mouth.

“Mmm, do you like that?” he asked lowly when you gulped down the second bite. You resisted the urge to shrug.

“Yeah,” you replied as earnestly as possible. The sweetness was beginning to cut down as you got used to it so it wasn’t as if it was unpleasant.

It wasn’t until you swallowed the third forkful you became suspicious. Well, it wasn’t really that as much as it was Mettaton reaching over to your lips and wiping away a fragment of frosting. You watched as he slowly brought it to his mouth and licked it away, body shuddering as a large puff of air blew his hair out of his face.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

He paused.

“Is it working?”

You considered this.

“Maybe?”

“I like those odds,” he murmured as he swiped a finger through some frosting and presented it to you. You wondered if robots taste weird briefly before you pulled his pointer finger into your mouth. Your eyes slid closed as the overwhelming sweet made your tongue ache. He didn’t taste like anything, you decided. Your breathed out heavily when he pulled his hand away, looking at it as though stunned.

“If I’m going to be entirely honest, darling… I’ve become rather fond of humans…”

You nodded, not sure where this was going but not entirely against it.

“But you were the first one that caught my eye,” he said his voice low and eyes dilated.

Your stomach twisted so hard it caught you off guard.

Your mouth began salivating.

Your heart rate increased.

Being here, eating a cake made by a superstar as they confessed their attraction to you… it filled you with determination.

You stood up expressionless and pushed the cake to the side carefully. You looked Mettaton in the eye. And then you threw him on the table and crawled on top of him.

“D-darling- what are you-”

“I have no idea,” you replied as you ran hands along the sides of his torso, listening intently the mechanical sounds he was emitting.

You leaned forward, surprised by his temperature. you had expected his body to be cold, but he seemed rather normal temperature as far as your were concerned. But you had other things to worry about as you ran your lips along his own, the strange synthetic softness much more tantalizing than you would’ve thought.

“It’s not even your birthday, is it?” you murmured against his mouth.

He stuttered and you realized it was coming from his chest, “Ha… you got me?”

“I don’t mind,” you muttered as you pulled back, repositioning yourself to straddle him. You ran your hands along his chest, feeling awed by the vibration you found there. So rhythmic and strangely human. It made your heart flutter.

“Wait… we can’t really do anything right now,” he muttered, wriggling under you. You were nearly certain he could throw you off at any time. You appreciated his acting as he pretend to look helpless underneath you.

“I need to activate my PGS first.”

“Your what?”

“My- well it stands for primary genital settings-”

This piqued your interest.

“How do I set it?”

“It’s rude to meddle with man’s genitals without his permission, you know,” he huffed.

He looked away for a moment before relenting.

“On my right hip. Right is FPG and left is MPG,” he muttered.

You blinked.

You reached around blindly before settling on something that felt switch right on his hip. It was very small. You looked at his face and he nodded, so you switched it right. You weren’t sure was FPG meant but you’d imagine you’d figure it out. His body made some sifting noises and he seem to become visually flustered.

You got off of him to investigate the development, run moreso by curiosity than arousal at this point. You were only slightly surprised by what you saw. Where there was once nothing but smoothness was now a very human looking mons. You reached towards him, pulling the surprisingly soft wetness apart. He seemed to be secreting something… something pink. It made you feel odd by smelling it as you eyed his labia minora, running a finger along his pussy gently.

“Oh-oh! Darling! You’re so bold…” he whimpered, hips jutting towards you.

You ran your fingers up and down his slit, moving the self lubricant liberally and you investigated a prominent looking nub. You hesitantly ran a finger along the hood of his clitoris, delighting in the surprised moan he gave you. This was surprisingly addictive.

You sat in the chair you abandoned and bent over, pulling his hips up to your face. You could hear his gears quicken in anticipation, his body shudder. You closed your eyes and wrapped your lips around his clit, surprised by the sweetness of the strange pinkness he secreted. It reminded you of the cake’s frosting but this time you ate it up greedily, swirling your tongue around him.

“A-aaah! Oh- please keep doing that!” he moaned out, his voice sounding garbled by his speakers. You worried briefly something had broke when you hear fairly loud clunk but he seemed far too invested, so you continued you ministrations. Your lips began tingling as struggled to keep your composure. This was turning you on a lot more than you thought it would and you were already pretty down to clown.

You found your hands wandering to your pants, fiddling with the zipper as you sucked hard on him, delighting in all the beautiful sounds he was rewarding you with. You could do this all day as far you were concerned. Finally, you managed to unzip your pants and shoved a hand down your underpants, rubbing yourself needly.

Mettaton sounded like he was dying- but in a good way.

“That feels so good!” You heard a push of exhaust as his back arched off the table. You could feel yourself close already so you went back to licking, licking hard along his tumescence. Mettaton responded with a particularly intriguing squeal, hips bucking hard and fast into your mouth. You couldn’t handle it, tumbling into euphoria right when a strong hand latched onto your hair and pulled you far too tight against himself. You felt a gush of liquid squirt onto your neck as you tried to pull away, desperate for air. He seemed to be locked up entirely, but then collapsed, eyes briefly flashing as if he’d been turned off and on again. He was squirming and gasping, seeming riding out the last remnants of his orgasm by the time he released you.

You questioned your life choices as you pulled a finger up to your face, realizing more of the sweet pink stickiness was on you. As you pulled your fingers apart you felt your stomach drop as you realized it was-just barely- glittery. You decided not to worry about glitter ingestion for the time being.

You pulled away and stared down at your hand for a moment, holding them away from yourself. You looked over at the sink. You wondered if it would be rude to do something about this.

“Human… that was amazing,” he murmured as if he was drunk, leaning up carefully. He switched himself to the middle position. By the time you have looked back he had somehow completely clean up and seemed as good as new. Well, excepting the mussed up hair. You walked over to the sink and began working on removing the offending substance. You heard quit hydraulics adjusting and then the sound of metal on ceramic as he stepped over to you. You finished working on your hands when he leaned on you, wrapped his arms around you possessively.

“We really should do this again sometime,” he whispered against your ear. You shuddered softly as you scrubbed your neck with soap.

“I’d like that,” you admitted.

“Mmm, humans are so honest with themselves!”

You doubted that was true but didn’t want to spoil his misconceptions.

You heard him fiddling with something as you managed to get all of it off.

“Oh! Look at the time! Time certainly does fly when you're having fun, right darling?”

“Mmm,” you replied drying your face off.

“I have a new episode of Cooking with Killer Robot to record at 10, so I really must be going. Sorry to hit and run like this, beautiful.” He kissed your neck. You eyed the clock over your stove. It was 9:40. He couldn’t have arrived more than twenty minutes ago. You resisted rolling your eyes.

“So, this time next week?”

By the time you turned to answer he was already bounding down the stairs of your apartment building.

You sighed but smiled a bit.

“This time next week, huh?”

You couldn’t say you weren’t looking forward to it.

You paused as you realized something. Your eyes narrowed.

How the hell did he know your address?

 

**Author's Note:**

> Mettaton isn't a slut- he's just not good at these 'relationship' things he keeps hearing about. Besides, if you were famous you'd need to blow off "steam" too, right?


End file.
